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As a ‘certified Enlightened Warrior’ (with Peak Potentials training) I am again at a point of decision in life that creates a lot of fear around important decisions.
Fear, by definition is :Anticipation of pain (yes! that is the dictionary definition,no kidding), and as a feeling that is anticipated, it puts it into the future. We all have fears, this is how we are built as the humans, but really – what does fear gives us? What is the pay of that we are many times will freeze and not move on because we are afraid?
some pay off can be – not being responsible by not taking actions, it can be play it safe and stay in my comfortable zone and it can be about being like every body else.
To me, over coming fear is something that does not easily come – I know what I should do, I know how to do, but still sometime it is very hard. Theses days, making more and more decision as far as where my life is going, I am so scared of the unknown, of success, of failure, of myself.
Today, I met a wonderful lady, Sharyn Abbott and we talked about fears. Sharyn point of view was that fear, beside holding us back and not letting us move forward, it is also a very dangers way of living – the physical effect on our body is very significant. Sharyn, who went through a lot in life says that the feelings around fear are creating stress in our body that can lead to many desease. Think about it, how are you handling fear?
How do we over come our fears?
There are probably so many ways, but this is how I handle fear – I sit with myself and start writing – write what ever comes to my mind at that moment, getting clearer and clearer of whats there, just being there and observing my thoughts and feelings. As I am observing what I am feelings I am better able to understand what is the source of the fear, and I can acknowledge it. I do not try to change myself to be Super Women, I do not ignore my feelings, I let them be there.
I am learning all the time that you can heal what you feel, I have to follow the feeling to the source of it to see what is deeper inside that is blocking me. Seeing it and acknowledging it gives me the opportunity to choose. I can choose to act in spite of my fear, or just stay there until I can see a better picture, get a better direction.
Becoming an observer of your fears, not ignoring them, but also not letting these take you into a place of stress, can help a lot in moving on and letting go.
Fear is always going to be there, the only way to tame is is to make your vision bigger than the fear, and act upon it – Just like Karate Kid !
today, as we are almost leaving behind 2007 and entering a new year it is time to reflect on what we have learned. Today in our materialistic world there is a tendency to measure everything, especially measure success. I want to point out a very critical understanding I have learned a lot about in the last year. I am learning over and over again, that the most important things in life CAN NOT BE MEASURED, You can not measure love, you can not measure happiness, you can not measure laughter, you can not measure personal growth and you can not measure joy. It is interesting to know, based on my experience, that when people are spending their last days on this planet, they don’t talk about how much money they made, what kind of car they drove or how many houses they bought. Most of the conversations are around feelings and things they wish they would have done – clean less and spend more time with the kids on the floor, have more understanding and better relationships in their family, creating more joy around them and just enjoying every moment that we have here.
Time is the only resource we can not have more of, now moving between 2007 and 2008 take the time to reflect and acknowledge your successes. Acknowledge all those which are not measurable, and declare to yourself, what more of those, and others you want of this year.
This is my own declaration for next year : I want more peace with myself, I want to be a better human being, I want to be more gentle with myself and others, and I want to know that I am serving the world and really truly offering my cake !
Make this year a great year, a year of love and care, a year of growth 🙂
With love, Relli
ok ok, you are probably wondering how old I am, well let me tell you. I am 37.
As you get older (over 30 or so) when you are being asked “how old are you”?, the person who is asking the question many time will say “21 again right? ” . I just want to tell you that I am so happy to be just my age and (although it may sounds funny t osome of you )I do not want to go back to 21…..
In the last few years I have made some of the most dramatic, drastic and amazing changes in my life. I have been doing a demanding but very rewarding work. A work of learning to know who I am (when I am not being a mom, wife, house keeper, etc etc) , getting to places I was always afraid of. Today, as I am getting closer to 40, I feel so much more mature, accepting and understanding.
A small note to the woman who brought me to this world – my Mom,
Mom, You have been the greatest inspiration for me in this world. I have watched you struggle, fighting for your family, but most of all I have watched you grow. All those years that we know one another, you have always showed me that love (and not money) in the power that makes the world go around. When you have love and compassion for people, great things will happen to you. Many times you told me that it’s the music, as you call our tone of voice and what we are really saying, that makes all the difference. You are so true, and finally, after such a long time I am chancing my music, I am changing the music that is in my heart, and thus, slowly changing the music out side of me.
You are my greatest teacher, my greatest fan and I am celebrating this birthday with a lot more love to myself, and with a lot more understating of my music.
And to you all my dear Friends, thank you for staying with me, loving me and accepting me just the way I am for so long.
Happy Birthday to me 🙂
I stumble across this Gratitude web site, and I thought you would like to check it too.
Have a Gratitude day, Relli
I’d like to share a new eBook that’s just been published by my friend, Camille Olivia Strate.
The name of the book is “Whispers ~ Gentle Little Nudges”. It’s a collection of short stories about intuition and the ‘voices’ we sometimes hear, but ignore. If you’d like to find out more, please click on the title above. It’ll bring you directly to the Announcements page on her site. Oh…and while you’re there, have a look around. There’s all kinds of fun stuff for your amusement!
Breakthrough Seminar with Barbara De Angelis was one of the most amazing experiences I ever had in my life. I was rebirth into a new life of love and service.
At times in life, many of us have feelings we are not sure what the source of them is.
Let me give you an example, for me, at times, I would feel irritated by people who always know what they are doing, so confident with whom they are and what they are doing with their live. They never care about what you think about them (well, at least on the surface it looks like it), but only about what they think about themselves.
As I was sitting at the seminar, going though deep meditations, I realized something very important. The reason for my reaction, staying away of those people, was that it was a mirror to me. It pushes all my self esteem buttons. It showed me that my approval of myself is not enough for me, I need other people’s approval to feel good about who I am, what I do, how do I look. I am always seeking confirmation to my own feelings. Now I got it! It has been like that all my life, I never felt good by just doing things that make me happy, it always had to be someone else who enjoys what I give, do, say , create to make me feel good.
Let me give you an example, for me, at times, I would feel irritated by people who always know what they are doing, so confident with whom they are and what they are doing with their live. They never care about what you think about them (well, at least on the surface it looks like it), but only about what they think about themselves.
As I was sitting at the seminar, going though deep meditations, I realized something very important. The reason for my reaction, staying away of those people, was that it was a mirror to me. It pushes all my self esteem buttons. It showed me that my approval of myself is not enough for me, I need other people’s approval to feel good about who I am, what I do, how do I look. I am always seeking confirmation to my own feelings. Now I got it! It has been like that all my life, I never felt good by just doing things that make me happy, it always had to be someone else who enjoys what I give, do, say , create to make me feel good.
Not any more!
I am learning to love who I am and to love my cake.
You are probably wondering what is this cake thing so let me tell you. Each of us has a gift, we are the only ones with this gift and this is what we do best. Our gift is what we are here for. One is a great musician, one is a great artist, one is a great listener, and another is a great speaker. Our gift is our “cake”.
BUT, sometime we don’t think we should let anyone know what our gift is because we are afraid: we are afraid of what they would think of us. Are they going to think I am not good enough? Will they think I am talking nonsense? Do they like me? I am sure you can relate to some of these feelings and I know you can trace back your gift.
“You only lose energy when life becomes dull in your mind. Your mind gets
bored and therefore tired of doing nothing. Get interested in something! Get
absolutely enthralled in something! Get out of yourself! Be somebody! Do
something! The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the
more energy you will have.
(Norman Vincent Peale, 1898-1993 Pastor Speaker and author)
So, going back to the cake – when you bake a cake you offer it, you ask people “would you like a piece?”; you do not open their mouth and stuff it into their mouth and say ” EAT!”, you let them choose if they like the cake, if they want to try a piece, and you are very happy when they eat and enjoy the cake.
Same goes with our gift. Our job is to offer it to others and let them choose. Your job is to be happy to just offer your cake, and know that you are serving yourself by doing so. You can not control if others will try it (which you are almost screaming to them: “eat it!”), maybe they will, maybe they won’t, BUT this is not up to you.
What is actually happening is that many a time we are connecting our self esteem to what others are doing with what we offer. This is the biggest pitfall, and often we are falling into it. I am learning again and again, that by holding back and not offering my cake, I am blocking my gift, I am not offering it to the universe, and thus, I am not living fully.
My purpose in life is to wake you up! To help you find your gift within yourself, what are you better at than any one else, what comes in ease, what is there that you feel is the best of you? And no, it doesn’t have to be your day-job, but if it is, you are truly blessed. Offer your cake, offer your gift, share it with the world so everybody can enjoy!
I met Eran and Paul trough a mutual friend, who thought I would be interested to check their work. Eran and Paul are wonderful young men here to change the world through changing people listening. Eran and Paul have shared with me very powerful techniques to understand how we really not listening….
Supportive Listening – Visiting Someone Else’s Life (By Eran Magen)
In a way, our lives are our homes. They are where we live. We usually spend our time in safe, familiar rooms: The living room, the dining room, the bedroom, or the study. Sometimes we visit other people’s houses. But most of us have rooms in our home that we are more… cautious about. Rooms we haven’t visited in quite some time, rooms which may have grown dusty cobwebs and deep shadows. Who knows what we’ll find there. We don’t like to go there alone.
In a way, our lives are our homes. They are where we live. We usually spend our time in safe, familiar rooms: The living room, the dining room, the bedroom, or the study. Sometimes we visit other people’s houses. But most of us have rooms in our home that we are more… cautious about. Rooms we haven’t visited in quite some time, rooms which may have grown dusty cobwebs and deep shadows. Who knows what we’ll find there. We don’t like to go there alone.
But it’s hard to imagine inviting anyone along. It can be embarrassing. There’s a box in the basement that holds many of my childhood photos, including the ones of me naked in the bathtub. The attic has a journal in which I wrote all kinds of plans for world domination, and a closet that I cringe whenever I think of. And, honestly, it’s also embarrassing for me to have anyone see just how scared I am of going into those rooms. But those rooms hold some of the keys to who I am, to who I want to be. I want to go there, and I don’t. I sometimes open the door, and get a glimpse of what’s inside, but then I shudder and shut the door again. I dare not go on my own, and I dare not bring someone else with me. Other people may not be safe. Are You safe? Will You keep me company, without mocking me, and help me learn more about my house?
When somebody is sharing something with You, they are taking You along on an internal exploration – inviting You to see where they live. You are there to follow their lead and to offer your support. If they feel that they can trust You, they will sometimes ask You to accompany them to parts of their home that they are not used to visiting, or even scared of, parts that they wouldn’t share with most people. As they explore, they will want to know that You are there, with them – otherwise the experience becomes too frightening, too threatening. You can reassure them by letting them know that You are still at their side, that nothing You may encounter will scare You away. They will want to know that You do not think less of them because of what they share with You, and that You will not use what they show You against them. You can reassure them by validating and accepting everything that You are shown, without judging.
As they come to trust You, and your acceptance of them, they will also come to know their own house better, and become less weary of it. They will share more and more of it with You, and as You continue to accept what You are shown, they will come to own more and more of it, and feel increasingly comfortable in it.
Little by little, with your help, they will grow comfortable in their own home. Supportive Listening is a powerful technique that enables anyone to offer real support through conversation, without becoming exhausted or frustrated in the process. With your help, friends can gain clarity and focus, and come up with their own solutions to the issues they are facing.
To learn more about Supportive Listening and for information on workshops, visit http://www.supportivelistening.org/
About the author:
Eran Magen is currently completing his Ph.D. in psychology at Stanford University, where he also his M.A., and taught the peer counseling class. Eran finds his work on Supportive Listening tremendously meaningful and satisfying, as he trusts that it can literally change the way that we communicate with each other and with ourselves. Eran strongly believes that this approach will help transform human relationships into a source of security, comfort, and deep connection.
I am sitting on the floor with my legs in a Kris cross position, looking so tiny from above. As I am taking off to look at me from the sky, I can see a very sad woman sitting, thinking and remembering.
There is a lot of light around me, and then I see my dad. I don’t want you to be here, I am telling myself trying so hard to change the picture, go away, haven’t you caused enough sadness and pain? Are 21 years not enough? Go away, but Aba is there, hovering over me like a chopper, in circles, round and around. I am trying with all my power to take him away, but it is no use, he is there. An old family friend is coming up as my mom pops up in the distance, “great come in, I tell them, come here!” . Aba is so big compare to them, he is so close, and want to touch me. He is smiling and looks just like I remember him, young and kind dancing and singing, just like it was until everything changed. As I am looking up from my place of sadness, I see him taking off and circling my body, bringing so much light down to me. I know now, I feel now that you are here to love me, to watch me every minute, making sure I am all right.
Now, 21 years later I am learning to realize what happened. I let anger and frustration control my life; I let fear and revenge keeping us again from being one again. It is now, that I am a mom and understand what you have tried to tell me all along: I love you; I want to have you back in my life. I did not understand you, it’s as if you were speaking one love language and I am another, like to parallel lines, never meet, and never cross, with tension in between. I am sorry Aba, I know now you sent me messages all the time, but I did not understand the language, I was blind.
Now, as the tears are melting the ice around my heart , I can feel your love, I can feel you and I know that even though you are not with us in this life, you are watching me, and I can once again be your little girl who dance with you.
Thank you Aba for showing me what I needed to see, Thank you for letting me be free again and feel love.
I am landing, I am getting back into my body sitting in a Kris cross position, and I know that I am home. Aba is free, I am free and we can both love again just like we did before everything changed.
I am sitting with my daughter, and we are watching together a short video on Nickjr web site. (http://www.nickjr.com/playtime/cats/video/index.jhtml?videoid=49562 Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! Video # 7, Magic Tricks)
It’s a wonderful story about a magic school, but really what got me thinking was the amazing message behind the story – the little creature,Wubbzy, is trying so hard to succeed but he is not able to pull any trick right. Wubbzy is even more frustrated with the fact that all the others are having no problems, and he feels a failure. Sounds familiar? Anyhow, he decides to leave the school. As he is walking down the street with himself, Wubbzy makes a decision –“ I will give it one more chance, just one more chance!” He goes back to the class and.as he is entering the classroom, his friends in the room are having such a hard time performing the ring trick (the one that you need to separate 3 rings from one another) and they are all very frustrated. To his surprise 3 rings are being thrown at him and without any effort he is separating them! Hurray, everybody cheers, and the teacher give him 5 stars – one for making the magic right, and four for not giving up!
At the end of the movie there is a wonderful song, with the message that if you keep on track and not give up, magic will happed!
I always find it to be amazing that kids stories have so much wisdom.
I know for myself, that when I am staying on track, even thought the little voice in my head is telling me it’s too hard, magic does happen.
My marriage are the best example for it, although it was hard to overcome the difficulties, although it was a nightmare to live together at times, I knew that if I stay there with a clear vision of where I am going to, magic will happen. Magic did happen, and I am grateful to be happily married to the most wonderful loving man I have ever known.
Stay focus on your vision, and with one step at a time, magic will happen.
Enjoy the movie J
Relli Siege 
