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On Sat, the whole family went to Spaghetti feed! Yes, it was a feast, and it was a great event for the whole family organized by my daughter preschool. Anyhow, when I was there I approached one of the moms , Melissa (not real name). I have not seen her in a long time so it was nice to chat and catch up. We talked for a few minutes when she told me she is about to do what I am doing. “what is that? ” I asked, she replied” blogging. My friends tell me I am so funny and I have so much to say in a unique way, that I should do something with it. So I will have my own blog but it will be very different – it would be me”
I thought for a second and said” I am so happy for you. I think the only way people will connectto you is by BEING YOU. There are so many people on the earth, and every one is different, this is the beauty of it, this is the beauty of human kind. I also believe that you can really truly be you, when you stop thinking about what other people would think of you”
I am proud on Melissa, she has done a great big step towards giving it all out, be her true self, love it and share it with the world. I can’t wait to see her blog when it is here!
As for you,
What are you holding back to be YOU, a complete person who cares more about what you think of yourself than what others think of you?
If you need help discovering it, give me a call and I will help you!
All my love, Relli
One of the fun things about blogging is to read and learn what other fellow bloggers are writing. I am really enjoying reading the happiness -project blog. This is my favorite for last week.
Can you relate it to your life? I sure can!
Every Wednesday is Tip Day.This Wednesday: 7 things to say in a meeting to make yourself look good and someone else look bad.
Ah, meetings. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
Being happy at work is important, of course. Being with other people generally boosts mood, and ideally, meetings should be a source of energy, ideas, and collegiality. But it doesn’t always work out that way. Meetings are also a place where people jockey for position, work out disagreements (nicely or not-so-nicely), and hurt each other’s feelings.
Being happy at work is important, of course. Being with other people generally boosts mood, and ideally, meetings should be a source of energy, ideas, and collegiality. But it doesn’t always work out that way. Meetings are also a place where people jockey for position, work out disagreements (nicely or not-so-nicely), and hurt each other’s feelings.
In one of my previous job incarnations, I worked in a meeting-intensive environment. After a while, I noticed that one person, when in a meeting, consistently made me feel angry and defensive—but I couldn’t figure out why. He never attacked me, in fact, he was nice to me. Or so I thought. Then I took a closer look at the kinds of things he said.
If you’re looking for ways to assert power over other people, and in the process, very likely annoy or undermine them, try the following tips. Conversely, if you’re hoping NOT to annoy or undermine other people, avoid talking this way:
1. “I don’t need all the details. Let’s just get to the bottom line.” You imply that others are quibblers and small-minded technicians, while deflecting the possible need to master complicated details yourself.
2. “Well, these are the facts.” You emphasize that you attend to hard facts, while implying that others are distracted by prejudice, sentiment, and assumption.
3. “You might be right.” You seem open-minded while simultaneously undermining someone else’s authority and credibility.
4. “I’m wondering about ____. Pat, please get back to us on this.” You demonstrate your habit of reasoned decision-making, while making Pat (who may or may not actually report to you) do the necessary work and report back.
5. “You did a great job on that, Pat!” You show a positive attitude, while showing that you’re in the position to judge and condescend to Pat.
6. “I think what Pat is trying to say is…” You show that you’re a good listener and give credit to others, while demonstrating that you can take Pat’s simple thought further than Pat could.
7. “I can see why you might think that.” Variant: “I used to think that, too.” You sound sympathetic, while indicating that you’ve moved far ahead in understanding.
As I read this list, I realize that a person could say all these things without being undermining. A lot depends on context and motivation. Still, it’s useful to think about how your seemingly helpful comment might strike another person in the room!
What other actions make you unhappy in a meeting? When two people write each other notes or whisper, when someone is obviously reading unrelated material or a Blackberry…what am I forgetting?
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This week, I was attending this course – Train the Tainer I, from Peak Potentials, and did not have a chance to write new blog entries.
Will write very soon, and also share some of the experience from this course.
Love, Relli.
It’s been a while since I flew anywhere, so today I got a bit excited about my short trip to Los Angeles. I am off; ALL BY MYSELF, to a seminar titled “Train the Trainer I”. It’s not that I don’t love my kids, but sometime I need a break! I am a better mom if I take the time to grow and miss them!
Why am I going to this seminar? As I am learning more and more about myself, and what I want to be when I grow up, I know that I want to be able to talk to as many people as possible, help them find the way to their own true self. To live as one person with one face, without the need to pretend being someone else, without hiding behind others expectations.
To do that, I need to have more knowledge and better presentations skills; what is the best way to approach a group, how do I make my message stand out, how do I keep my audience connected to the message and being involved throughout my presentation. Like everything else in life, we can learn to have those skills, and that is what I am about to do this week.
I am SOOOOO excited about this seminar, I can’t wait to learn and work hard. A great part of those seminars is meeting amazing people who are all about changing their lives and help others do the same. Meeting friends from previous seminars is a great pleasure and I can not wait to meet them all and give them a big hug.
It is always good to be around great people, and this is a great opportunity to do so and feel even better!
Getting better and better, Relli
This weekend we took the kids and drove to Point Reyes. It is a great time to visit the area, with all the beautiful bloom of the wild flowers, green grass and a lot of water.
It’s been sometime since we have gone on a trip, and we felt we needed a weekend off; OUT OF THE HOUSE. When you are at home, there is always something to do, to fix, to clean to check, it is never just being together, well at least most of the time for my family (just finished my 4th load of laundry…).
Loaded with food, cloths and bikes, we drove quietly looking at the beautiful mountains of Marine County, enjoying the beauty of nature. The kids were so calm. I was wondering about their behavior which it is very different than the one at home. I think I know why, it is the outdoor environment that we don’t get to spend enough time at.
A simple act of going out to nature can change everything.
On the way, at one of our favorite cheese places, we stopped and had a GREAT lunch with Camembert cheese, great Salami and wonderful bread – Yummmmm! It was amazing to see my son try new things! He is always surprising me with his openness to try new kind of foods, it is great.
When we arrived to Point Reyes, we took the bikes off the rack, and went down to the beach. The boys took off so fast, that my husband and I had hard time catching up with them up and down the hills, they have so much energy, that it is fun to watch J
This ride together made us feel connected – to ourselves, to nature and to one another, as each of us was looking to see if everybody are there, if everybody is OK. I am so proud of my kids; they are so fun, crazy AND responsible!
As I am writing I was thinking about how simple activities like bike riding, having a picnic, playing tag are so connecting. When I am making the choice to separate myself from the crazy life chaos, making sure I am available 100% for my family, things are so different for me and for my family. We communicate better, we eat together, we talk about out feelings and we sleep better! The taste of life!
I am looking forward for our next short trip, and where ever we choose to go, we are together, and that is the most important part for me :O)
“We want to teach our children everything about life, but our children teach us what life is all about”.
(unknown)
Writing about myself is easy for me, but I feel that writing about my kids is very hard. I was thinking about it today and I asked myself WHY?
I think that for me blogging is very personal, it’s a lot about my personal thoughts and processes, and in a way, I want to protect my children from being exposed to this new world, where everything is open, everything is exposed.
Another reason that I think is blocking me is that I do not want to just be the ‘stay at home mom’, I want to be a complete human being just for being myself.
The more I am thinking about it, I am realizing that I am very silly 😉 – of course my kids are a part of me, A MAJOR part of my life.They are the light of my life, and they are the reason and the cause to make me search for more and more answers and questions. I feel so silly leaving them out of the picture, when they are such a big part of my life.
My kids are beautiful; they are beautiful human beings that have taught me, and still teaching me more that I could have ever learned alone, or with others.
They push all my buttons, they drive me crazy, but they always shine a light on an area I need to work on.
Yesterday, when I picked up my daughter from preschool we got to talk that I want to walk more. (I find myself sitting in front of the computer, driving from one place to the other, and before I know it, they day is gone!)
When I told my daughter about it she simply said:”so walk! “
So simple, and so true – just do it!
While I was setting the table for dinner, I was about to get some glasses out of the cabinet and while doing that I broke a cup. As I am cleaning up the glass pieces my son told me: “How is it, that when we (the kids) break a cup or a plate, you are mad at us, and when you are breaking it, it’s ok?”
“True”, I told him, “you are right, adults something are not as smart as you are”.
It is always amazed me to hear this 5 and 9 year old amazing persons, solving a problem in such a simple way!
I was sitting with a friend for breakfast, when we started to talk about goals. My friend said that she feels that she need to make money, to feel valued as equal.
As we were taking about it I thought about it: Can money be THE goal? Can you achieve financial success with only money as a goal? I don’t think so.
For 2 years, I put money and what it can buy as my personal goal, and this was not working. For me, that was not a big enough drive to become successful at what I chose to do.
As time passed and I did not achieved my financial targets, I got more and more frustrated with myself and my work. It effected my well being, since I was not feeling satisfied with my life. I made the connection between who I am and what I make.
I am blessed to have my husband and my mom, who kept telling me that money can not be the goal, it should be something bigger. As I was working with my coach to create my vision, I realized what is my true passion in life – to help people see that there is a choice, you can live the life you want to have, from the inside out. Today, I still have financial goals, but my motivation comes from a deeper place – it comes from my heart, and I can live it in every minute of the day, no matter what I do.
When I am shopping, I can talk to the cashier in a way that would make her laugh, I can be goofy and feel funny, I can help a friend by just listening. I live my vision, and I know that when you do what you love to do, when you are truly connected to your own self, people can feel it.
When people feel that you are helping them, they probably would like to stay in touch with you and work with you. This is when you financial compensation will come. It might take more time, but when it comes, it will be a natural path to your choice of pursuing your mission, who you really are.
You are not your results, you are your vision.
Discover your vision, your heart mission or as Stephan Covey said: Find your Voice.
Finding your voice, finding what is your purpose, is the first step to a long process of living from the inside out, knowing that you are living it every moment.
As I am always looking for sources of inspiration I learned about the happiness project. This is one of the blogs I thought was thought provoking.
“For my Happiness Project, I always talk in terms of my “resolutions” – my resolution to “Quit nagging” or “Sing in the morning” or “Make time for projects.”
I’d noticed idly that a lot of people talk instead in terms of “goals.” I’d never thought much about this distinction, but yesterday, it struck me that this difference was, in fact, significant.
You hit a goal, you achieve a goal. You keep a resolution.
I think that some objectives are better characterized as resolutions, others, as goals.
“Run in a marathon” or “Become fluent in Spanish” is a good goal. It’s specific. It’s easy to tell when it has been achieved. Once you’ve done it, you’ve done it!
“Eat more vegetables” or “Stop gossiping,” or “Exercise” is better cast as a resolution. You won’t wake up one morning and find that you’ve achieved it. It’s something that you have to resolve to do, every day, forever. You’ll never be done with it.
Having goals is terrific for happiness. The First Splendid Truth says that to think about happiness, we need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. Striving toward a goal gives a tremendous sense of growth.
But it can be easy to get discouraged when you’re trying to hit a goal. What if it takes longer than you expected? What if it’s harder than you expected? And what happens once you’ve reached your goal? Say you’ve run the marathon. What now – do you stop exercising? Do you set a new goal?
With resolutions, the expectations are different. Each day, I try to live up to my resolutions. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but every day is a clean slate and a fresh opportunity. I never expect to be done with my resolutions, so I don’t get discouraged when they stay challenging. Which they do.
For example, one of my recent resolutions was “No more fake food.” Have I achieved this goal? Well, maybe — I haven’t had any fake food since I made that resolution. But practically not a day goes by when I don’t fight the temptation. How many times has my hand hovered above a Glenny’s 100-Calorie Brownie? “No more fake food” is a resolution, not a goal.
I’d noticed idly that a lot of people talk instead in terms of “goals.” I’d never thought much about this distinction, but yesterday, it struck me that this difference was, in fact, significant.
You hit a goal, you achieve a goal. You keep a resolution.
I think that some objectives are better characterized as resolutions, others, as goals.
“Run in a marathon” or “Become fluent in Spanish” is a good goal. It’s specific. It’s easy to tell when it has been achieved. Once you’ve done it, you’ve done it!
“Eat more vegetables” or “Stop gossiping,” or “Exercise” is better cast as a resolution. You won’t wake up one morning and find that you’ve achieved it. It’s something that you have to resolve to do, every day, forever. You’ll never be done with it.
Having goals is terrific for happiness. The First Splendid Truth says that to think about happiness, we need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. Striving toward a goal gives a tremendous sense of growth.
But it can be easy to get discouraged when you’re trying to hit a goal. What if it takes longer than you expected? What if it’s harder than you expected? And what happens once you’ve reached your goal? Say you’ve run the marathon. What now – do you stop exercising? Do you set a new goal?
With resolutions, the expectations are different. Each day, I try to live up to my resolutions. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but every day is a clean slate and a fresh opportunity. I never expect to be done with my resolutions, so I don’t get discouraged when they stay challenging. Which they do.
For example, one of my recent resolutions was “No more fake food.” Have I achieved this goal? Well, maybe — I haven’t had any fake food since I made that resolution. But practically not a day goes by when I don’t fight the temptation. How many times has my hand hovered above a Glenny’s 100-Calorie Brownie? “No more fake food” is a resolution, not a goal.
This is an excert from Gretchen Rubin daily blog at
My take on it that – you need to have both goals and resolutions, or the way I see resolution is a commitment for something bigger, it’s the mission. My commitment is to help people, it is not a measurable goal. To move forward towards that commitment, I have to set goals. For example : meeting x people, have a group coaching. I can measure those activities, knowing they are in alignment with my long term resolution. For years, I did not have goals, but I know today that goals are important and working towards those goals and doing the best to achieve them, is very important to our self esteem and to our commitments.
I would love to hear from you what you think about that, and if and how you distinguish those two aspect of life.
Love, Relli
I guess there are many different answers to this simple question, but for me, one of the best feeling is the feeling of helping another human being.
I just got off the phone with a friend that is struggling with his life direction. We spent some time talking about what makes him happy, and I could hear and see the smile behind the head set. The deep knowing that my listening and my advice helped him feel better, is the best reward I can ever get. You know, when we meet people, we often remember how we felt around them, we mostly do not remember what was being said. My wish is that I will be able to make every person I talk to, feel good about himself, and one by one, we will change our lives.
,
When you give away everything that your heart can offer, it fills with joy and happiness. My mom, which has many great quotes, always say: “You never regret doing something good”. I find myself helping people understand themselves better,to smile, to look at the full cup, and while I am doing that, I am really helping myself.
Helping doesn’t mean giving something up, it does mean you have to be nice all the time. It does mean that you, as a human being, live your life fully.
I feel that as time progress, and I am putting my true self out there, I give more, and for sure, I am getting more!
Have fun, GIVE,
Relli Siege 