When I met my friends yesterday, we decided to meet today, with the kids at Borders book store.

My kids LOVE to go to Borders, we call it ‘The library with the Hot Chocolate’. Every time we go there, they get to drink Hot Chocolate with all the goodies on top of it!

Today, my Son was really excited about going to the store because a new book that he wanted to read just came out!

So, we got to the store, he found the book and set down to read it. After 2 1/2 hours at the store, I told him we will be leaving soon since it is time to cook dinner. He was very disappointed to hear that because he didn’t get a change to read the whole book. When he asked me to buy the book I refused. You can imagine he was not happy at all. On top of him being upset about the book, he WAS HUNGRY!

I don’t know about your kids, but when my son is hungry, things are not going well. He can not think straight, he is whinny and he is driving me nuts!

So, today he was hungry.

When we finally left the store, he would not get in the car. So here I am in the car with the other kids, the Baby is crying and he is just standing there on a strike! (lately he is often striking ..).

I asked him few times to get in, understanding he is upset, but it’s time to go.

He would not get in.

So, I gave him the choice to get into the car, or stay there… of course I would not leave him there, but I didn’t know what else to do. Eventually, once I put the gear in and started to move the car, he decided he better be on that car!

So, with a cranky kid and a screaming baby, off we drove home.

When we got home, he would not leave the car. Ok, so I left him at the car with me being able to watch him, and I went to cook dinner.

I came twice to ask him to come home and eat dinner since it was obvious he is hungry dahhh…

He would not. After an hour (that he was pretending to be sleeping every time I came closer to the car), I dragged him out of there, hoping he would change his attitude.

Anyhow, after about 30 more min he spend at the yard, he finally went inside the house and set to eat something.

If you are a parent, you can imagine how lost I felt. I knew he was looking for my attention, but I also knew that once I start a war, I have to finish it.

And I did – I let him choose when he would eat, knowing he needs to eat RIGHT NOW.

If only it was that simple…..

“Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year’s time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings.”
Andre Maurois1885-1967, Writer

after he ate, I told him we need to talk about what happened today, and see what he learned from it.

I must say, that I was very surprised of the speed he got to understand what had happened. This is what he told me after we were all in a better place : ” I am sorry for being selfish. I know that when I am hungry I can’t think well, but I don’t know what to do about it”

I was so proud of him for realizing his behavior without me telling him what I think… I have a tendency to do that ….

We talked a bit more about what he can do to avoid those situations (-e.g. realize he is angry, and check to see if he ate lately), and we got to understand that this behavior is no fun for any of us.

I learned a lot from this afternoon, and I am sure my son did to. I learned that sometime I feel like I am the bad mom, but in a way, I am helping my son figure out by himself, for himself what is going on. Most of the time I feel I am too hard on my kids, but I really want to teach them that they are the ones in charge of their body, their attitude, mood and life. They need to be the one paying attention to their body, and learn to work with it.

Although I am exhausted from today’s’ adventures, I must say that I feel happy for my son and his insights. I think we learned a lot today – him : to look at himself and make a decision about how he is going to behave and take the actions in that direction , and me – learn patience, love and admire him as a person.

Oh, almost forgot – The answer to the question “No matter what the question is the answer is always …… LOVE.
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