How to take care of myself without feeling guilty

There in nothing more rewarding, to my opinion at least, than knowing you have helped someone in need. When I say helping in need, it doesn’t always mean Money, it can be totally different kind of help.

Last Friday I had the honor of helping new moms. I was on the phone with other moms and we talked about the challenges a new mom is facing. On the surface it might seem that everything is OK, underneath there are lots of dilemmas. One of the dilemmas we talked about was – how do I take care of myself without feeling guilty for not being with my kids, doing something for my kids, cleaning the house, running around, doing laundry etc etc.

Sounds familiar?

Before I get to what we talked about, I must say that it is amazing how most people share the same dilemmas and challenges. Each of us has a different version of it, but at a deep level, we are all humans who share somewhat the same issues.

On the call, we chose to talk about ‘how to take care of me’. One of the moms said something beautiful which I like to share: “when I was pregnant I knew I have to take care of my body, because this is what is supporting my baby. The baby and I were one, so when I ate, I was also taking care of him. Now that he is out in the world, I don’t do it anymore. I am busy making sure he is alright, but I forget myself”

I loved what she said and I thought – why don’t we think about it in the same way after they are born? – If I can think of taking care of myself is directly affecting my child, I would do it, I would remember to do it.

How many times a new mom get to the end of the day with a humongous head ache, realizing that she forgot to eat and drink throughout the day? Sounds familiar? yep, happened to me more than once!

we got to understand that it is most important to help me be well. When I am well, my child will more likely to be happy and healthy. Well, we know it’s true but easier said than done.

I know that for myself, I was not always a happy mom. I was struggling with no time for me, not knowing who I am anymore, not knowing I need to take care of myself first. It took a lot of work to get to a place where I can sit is a house that is not always tidy and neat, the laundry is not always done, the kids will eat fast food once in a while and so on, but I know that I used the time to take care of me. In the long run, we forget the mess and the laundry and we look how we have been, and what we gave to our kids.

At the end of the call, each mom got to share one, two things she will do for herself this week .

Here are some ideas:

Take a shower every morning, dress up and feel good about yourself.

Journal

Meditate

Go with a friend for a coffee

Do Art

Dance

I am happy to say, that I felt honored that I had the privilege to be on the call and help moms understand that when they are taking care of them self, they are making a better mom, thus making their kids happier and healthier.

Now, What are you going to do for yourself today?