Today, I was playing god. I never thought how hard it would be , until I had to make a decision about my beloved dog, Arik.

Arik has been with us since he was 5 months. An energetic Lab that is always on the look for food, got to be 14 and 3 months. In the last year, Arik was having hard time getting up and walking, but he was doing fine with all kinds of pills. In the last few months, it became clear that it gets harder and harder for him to get up, even when he needed to go potty.

It was hard watching him, knowing he is not able to do what he loved doing – snicking out of the house when the door was open and look for food in garbage cans 😉

Few weeks ago, I was about to let him go but I couldn’t do it. My good and dear friend Lisbeth convinced me that it is not time. I listen to my heart , my husband, kids and Lisbeth, with the help of Arik’s wonderful Vet, Dr. Jennifer Martin, we decided to wait.

Last week, as we were sitting at night, it became clear that the time is almost here. Arik had developed some lung problem, and it was hard for him to breathe after a very short walk, or even going outside to potty. We knew we have to make a decision about his quality of life.

For a long time throughout this process, I was thinking about me, the family  – how we would feel, how is it going to be without him. I couldn’t do it, I could not let go.

In the last few days I realized that it’s not about me, it’s about Arik and his life. I read some articles and got to understand that this is no life for him. He can not do what he love doing.

Today, with a lot of tears ( A LOT OF TEARS), we let Arik go.

 Our wonderful vet made it so peaceful, Aviv and I held Arik throughout the process. I still cry, and I think I will cry for few more days. I once learned from a very wise women, that tears melt the ice around our heart, it’s a healing process. I love to cry, I need to cry, I feel better after I cry.

I will miss Arik so much. I will miss his beautiful face, his smooth ears, his snoring at night, his welcoming tail, his spirit. I will miss him, but I know that I served him by letting him go. It is hard, it is so hard,  I canstill feel the pain in my body as I am writing these words.

I will miss him, I already am, Aviv and the kids will miss him, Tuvia our cat is already looking for him.

I loved my dog, and he loved me, in a way that only dogs know.

Last, I found this poem yesterday as I was reading about ‘how to know when it is time’, I think it is beautiful.

If it should be that I grow frail and weak, and pain should keep me from my sleep
Then you must do what must be done, for this the last battle can’t be won

You will be sad – I understand, don’t let your grief then stay your hand
For this day, more than the rest, your love and friendship stand the the test
We’ve had so many happy years, what is to come – can have no fears
You’d not want me to suffer, so, when the time comes, please let me go

Take me where my needs they’ll tend, only stay with me until the end
And hold me firm and speak to me, until my eyes no longer see

I know in time

you too will see, it is a kindness you do for me
Although my tail its last has waved, from pain and suffering I’ve been saved
Don’t grieve that is should be you, who has to decide this thing to do
We’ve been so close through all these years, don’t let your heart hold any tears

Smile, for we’ve been together for awhile.

Hug your dog today, embrace its love and cherish it. It is the best gift you can give them and yourself.

Hugs, Relli

Advertisements