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Today while at the krakow Jcc , I heard a beautiful offering that Jewish life is about life and not death .
It is so true and is very powerful to feel at krakow , where we are so close to Auschwitz , to a place where unimaginable things happen , and at the same time see the reviving of the Jewish life here .
Today we walked the streets of krakow and I could see the beauty of this place but at the same time I could feel myself wanting to go , to move on , to remember but not suffer anymore .
I could feel myself escorted my ancestors helping me feel more gratitude for the life I have . So many of them died in the Holocaust, but my grandparents survived as they flee through the war . I would not be here if they were not as resourceful as they were .
I bless my life today more than ever , feeling so grateful for my good karma , for having my life in a free country where I can be free to practice my faith .
With deepest gratitude today , and lots of joy to be alive today , Relli
As I have been preparing for my visit to Auschwitz, I once again listen to the powerful speech by
Eli Weissel as he accepted the Nobel prize .
Every word is important but those struck a deep cord in me –
“This is what I say to the young Jewish boy wondering what I have done with his years. It is in his name that I speak to you and that I express to you my deepest gratitude. No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night. We know that every moment is a moment of grace, every hour an offering; not to share them would mean to betray them. Our lives no longer belong to us alone; they belong to all those who need us desperately”
https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/1986/wiesel/acceptance-speech/
I will carry those words with me as I bless this new day of life . Feeling so grateful to Be alive and happy !!
Love relli
In the next few weeks I will be writing to share the journey of a lifetime back to the place where my family came from. I want to share my own experience through the lens of my own journey as woman looking for her own identity in this lifetime.
Please check my blog as I write as time progress and the journey unfold.
It is strange to be in a city that looks similar to any other Europian city , but to feel my family connection to Poland . It is strange to see sighs in Hebrew as if they are old , but you know they are new. To walk the streets and see Orthodox Jews passing by in groups and then to go to the Jcc where so much is happening , culturally and spirituality . Very interesting mix.
I am not quite sure how to hold this all, so right now I am allowing myself to explore and feel the contrasts of the town , the livelihood on one end , and the heritage of polish history on the other .
It was a fully busy day , time to rest now .
All my love until next time , Relli
Tue , first day.
Today I am starting on a journey to Poland as a part of a 2 weeks trip with a women group I have been a part since January.
The group name is Kol Isha, it is in Hebrew – Woman Voice.
It is a first cohort of this Oshman Jcc initiative , where a group of women studying Judaism in a secular way, about women with women.
it is very exciting and I am enjoying it so much!
We will be meeting 2 other groups that are part of the program – one in Poland and One in Israel.
This is my very first ever trip with a group beside my family so it’s all very new, exciting and also many thoughts and feeling with starting in Poland and specifically in Auschwitz.
As part of our journey, we had a preparation session for our visit to Auschwitz and I could feel the dread coming up in me as I think of my heritage and my family connection to the holocaust.
My maternal grandparents , Etel and Yosef left Poland at the beginning of the war. Years ago , my brother gifted us with a detailed presentation that tell the stores or the path of our family and where they were during the Second World War.
I am holding it with me , looking at it , knowing I am coming back to the place they left because of anti semitism.
As I was listening to the wonderful female Rabbi who led the discussion , what I felt strongly is how much I was feeling and how much will come up during the visit, but also how much I am learning to be in my own reality , my life today , where there is a lot to be joyful and grateful for 🙂
I know that what I can do for those who are not here anymore, is to LIVE and to LOVE and to be Joyful , something that was taken away from them and that is what we are commended to do remember them and who they were.
Another part that was coning up for me was to arrive onw this trip with open mind to meet the people from Poland not as a rep of my family history, but as myself wanting to learn more about their experiences and their lives. like myself, they grew up on the stories of what happen that are based in one’s reality, and I want to offer us the gift of being present , if I can say that, put the past on the side ( not to forget , but to have an open mind ) and see what is happening today.
As a group, I could feel this is something that is there for each of us and it will be a journey to support one another as we move between feelings and reflection, and jet lag:)
So …..
I am not sure how it will all unfold , but I feel how much this trip is a huge step in my healing process as a woman .
Being on this journey with wonderful amazing women is allowing me to really explore what it means for me, in my own life, to be a woman, to feel deeply, to be supported by women, to support women, to hold the space of love as women.
I am super excited and a bit scared of this trip, but I know this is all coming as another layer of my journey !!!
All my Love and Joy on this amazing trip , Relli
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On Thu, Dec 23 2010 we drove to a cozy cabin in Arnold CA. It was a beautiful day, the sun was up and the road was wonderful as always. We love to go up to Arnold, since it is still a small town, with few shops and a there is this cozy feeling in the air.
Few hours after arriving, our family/friends joined us. It was a big party for the kids, who were looking forward to spend time together, in the cabin and with some snow!
Dinner, kids playing, going to sleep J
Friday, December 24.
I woke up, feeling happy to be on vacation, completely forgetting it is my birthday! Very much like me, since I usually don’t make a big deal out of my birthday. We had a great breakfast and then Aviv, the kids and our friends went up to do some snow sledding! This is the whole point of snow – right ?
I stayed at the cabin, enjoying a few hours of quiet, no one asking for something, for me, for food J I decided to take a walk. It was beautiful and sunny. I looked at the trees, the houses around and felt very grateful to see all this beauty.
Went back to the house, put some tree branches together in an arrangement (can’t ignore me being a florist….) took a nice warm (and quiet) bath, until the neighbor next door decided to cut some wood 😉
Went out, fixed myself a cup of coffee and a small piece of orange-chocolate cake, took the computer and set down to write. It was a wonderful feeling to reflect about being 40. I really feel blessed to reach the wisdom age. As my youngest sister told me, the number 40 is a very important number in Judaism. She also told me that up to this age we are studding, preparing for becoming a teacher who can pass on wisdom. I felt very connected to this concept as I feel that today, more than ever; I am more aware and ready to make great changes inside out. For some people it may look odd, but I love the process of learning myself. It never stop amazes me how much more I have to learn J
Kids are back! A problem in the car window brought them sooner than later. Well, my time is up.
Dinner, great food and then – Show time!
With a beautiful Flower shape cake, we sang Happy Birthday and sat down to watch what my wonderful family and friends have worked on.
I knew NOTHING, and was totally surprised by what I was about to see. I was amazed and touch to tears to learn that Aviv, the kids, Yotvat and Nitzan have been working on the ‘Relli Project’ for a month and a half, without me knowing anything!
As you all know, Aviv has been working off my computer, all the email addresses of my close friends and people who I know, and asked them to send me their BD wishes. I knew nothing!
I was honored, touched and felt very blessed to have such an amazing group of people around me!
The movie Aviv put together was wonderful! I had fun funny videos to watch, cards to read, songs to hear!
What really strikes me was the love I felt purring out this project! I felt loved, appreciated and very special. It was hard to realized that it is all for me. A part of my personal growth is to learn how to receive. I tend to be a good giver, but not such a good receiver. This event put me on the spot, and helped me see things in a different way. It was great!
So, here I am, crying, laughing, crying, amazed, laughing, crying etc to see so many people, some of which I haven’t been in touch in years, all wishing Happy Birthday.
After the movie, Yotvat prepared a series of questions about ‘Relli’s Life’. It was a kick because it forced the kids to take wild guesses about my life, and also reminded me of stories and events I didn’t remember. A lot of fun!!!!!
11:00 pm. Kids are tired, putting them to sleep. Stayed up late, talking.
I had a wonderful Birth DAY, with lots of love around me.
I want to thank each and every one of those who made this all possible. Aviv, my kids, Yotavt and her family, Nitzan and her family, my Mom and siblings , my mother in law and Aviv’s siblings and all the beautiful people who send me their love in a package of Birthday Wishes.
Lots of love, excited to be 40 J Relli
You are probably wondering what this all about. Well, lately I have hard time sleeping through the night, and find myself waking up very early. I decided that instead of fighting it and try for 2 hours to go to sleep, I will get up 🙂
yesterday, early morning when the house was quiet, I stumble across The FinerMinds Challenge – Give Us Your Personal Growth Story In 6 Words!
http://www.finerminds.com/personal-growth/six-word-memoirs/
I tought it was really cool to take it on and this is what I came out with –
Feel – For me, not feeling is a disease that I am constantly working to cure. I have been able to tap into my feelings in so many ways, but if I let go of the practice to feel, I build my walls again. So, feel would be the first thing of change.
Then, let go – oh, my gosh! this is a hard one for me. I know the ‘theory’, I know what I need to do, but to feel ‘LET GO’ is a totally different story. Over the last 4 months, I have learned over and over again that when I let things go, everything shifts. Relationships, money, opportunities. I set the intention, I take actions ro move toward my intention and then, let go.
well, this will be a constant challenge to keep this lesson going. But I am up for it :0)
Get into the flow – only when I let go, I can get into the flow. As long as I hold it tight, controlling my feelings, people, situations, I am not in flow. I always go back to nature – Water, Wind, Fire are all flowing. they will find a way to go around, above, underneath to get to their destination. They don’t try to control the direction, they flow.
So, to sum it up – feel, let go, get into flow is my personal growth in 6 words!
It would be nice to take this challenge every few months, and see what comes up. As we change, the lesson will change too.
Go, take 10 min and try it yourself 🙂
Love, Relli
You must have been wondering where I am… so here it is –
I have been busy with going back to Floral Design. I have been investing my heart, time and effort into creating great videos teaching people what I know. I am so excited about sharing it all with you very soon!
It has been a great time to learn patience, trust (especially the universe) that things will fall into place, and love.
Lot more to be done, tell you more soon,
All my love, Relli
In the last few days I have been resisting taking action towards putting videos together. I know I am resisting change, I can feel how I am holding back to my passion for art, afraid that if I take it on I will have to give up other things. As I am writing it,I know that the opposite will actually happen. If I dive into my art, share my love for it, teach people about it, my life would be filled with joy of giving and receiving. But still, I am holding back. Today, I had planned to complete the materials I need to have for my first videos, and I stopped. I could not pin point why, but I didn’t do it. I tried to find all kind of reasons why it is not a good time “I am tired”, I have to cook dinner, I won’t finish is today anyway, bla bla bla. I know I am making up excuses, pretty amazing that I can acknowledge it and still do it! Haha
Eventually, I decided to let go. I did not complete my list, neither my cooking 😉 , I just took my book and set down to read.
And, it was what I needed to do. Let go of controlling the day. It was what I needed to do – I got the answers why I am doing it from reading the book. I got to see, through Barbara’s Book, that she has done the same!
“a ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are for”John A Shedd
I found this quote to catch my attention – I am the ship, and I am stuck in the harbor! I am not supposed to stay there for ever, I am supposed to sail away to the open sea, let go of controlling and just drift with the waves.
I find it to be very challenging to take huge leaps, to take huge steps. I am pretty good at taking big leaps when I am practicing (seminars, camps, in my community), but when it comes to my own destiny, I am holding back. Interesting.
As long as I am playing a game which is not really about me, I am leaping big time, but I stop when it comes to me, my life, my business, my relationships. I will do some work on it in the next few days, and will get to the bottom of it.
As for the next few days, I will take small leaps. I will take the key to the room where I can shoot videos, I will collect the materials to create few short videos, and just trust that things will fall into place.
“Show me the way, show me what I need to see to move forward”
Love, Relli
Relli Siege 