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Looks like it’s true – this guy is giving away this cool new book for charity. Grab a copy http://tinyurl.com/23nwphq
I got mine!
Relli
- Love as a way of life, Gary Chapman
- Self Confidence, Barbara De Angelis
- Unconditional Parenting, alfie kohn
I had one of these weeks this week, and I feel that life is too much! So, this week so many things went wrong that I don’t know what the heck happened!
So, this is how it went – On Monday when my husband was on his way back from camping with the boys, he called me up and say: “ I broke my tooth”. Well, I knew that this is not a good thing, for his teeth and our budget!
Then, on Wed, while taking the kids to eat at Fresh Choice, my dear son took out his retainer ($500) and put it on the tray so he can eat… guess what? You are right! He forgot it there, on the tray! By the time we came home I realized that something was missing, and yes, it was lost. I rushed to the phone, called the restaurant and the lady already told me that they took ALL the garbage to the big bin! Just my luck! First my husband, now my son…. I was so pissed!
On Thu, My daughter had her first ‘professional’ (pricey) ballet class. This is a fancy place she insisted on going to, since her best friend it taking ballet classes there. Sure enough we are arriving to the studio and she refuse to get into the class! “Why?” I asked, and she said ‘I don’t like it”. So, I kept asking:” what don’t you like?” and she said:”the wall color!”
I was about to explode! This 5 years old doesn’t want to take the class because the color of the wall?! What the heck is going on here? Anyway, with my lack of sleep, my growing belly I marched to the office and asked for the cancellation policy. Of course, those great places will not give a dime back… so here I am, stuck with a class that my daughter doesn’t want to take because she doesn’t like the wall color… go figure.
When I came back home, I picked up my son from school and took him to the orthodontic clinic to see what can be done. I knew that walking in there will be for one reason only – to put new NON REMOVABLE braces on my wonderful child teeth… Sure enough, here I am watching my bills grow exponentially!
Nice week ha?
So, I am thinking to myself – what did I do to attract that? I am not sure….still working on this one!
Yesterday, while giving my first public speaking presentation, I got to experience the joy of actually giving what I have to the world.
This is what I wrote in December:
“Our job is to offer it (our gift) to others and let them choose. Your job is to be happy to just offer your cake, and know that you are serving yourself by doing so. You can not control if others will try it (which you are almost screaming to them: “eat it!”), maybe they will, maybe they won’t, BUT this is not up to you.”
My presentation topic was ‘Focus In – 3 simple principles to achieve more success in your life by looking inside out’.
I was sharing what I learned in my life journey, about how I was lost with no focus to how I found my passion with flowers and Personal development. It was a wonderful feeling of giving, and it was even better because there was someone to receive.
I offered my cake, I offered it from my heart, and it was accepted with joy. I feel humbled yet excited to keep going and share my gift!
I challenge you to share your gift – give it to the world and you will never look back again!
To life and great cakes, Relli
Her message although simple to absorb, is quite amazing –
By changing the way you are praising your child, you are effecting his ability to become a better student while developing an attitude of growth towards learning.
According to Dr. Dweck, there are 2 basic mindset – A fix mindset and a growth mindset.
The fixed mindset student care more about Looking smart, rather than learning and growing.
The growth mindset student care more about what she is learning rather that how she looks.
Her research shows correlation between a student mindset and their long term academic success:
A fix mindset will tend to choose ‘ easy tasks’ and avoid challenges, to sustain the need of ‘looking smart’ and over time will do poorly in school. A growth mindset will take the time to learn from her own mistakes to become a better student and improve grades.
The big discovery of the research shows a direct relationship between the way a child is being praised and their mindset and preformance. A child that is being praise for his intelligence (e.g : you are so good at that, you are so smart, of course this is easy for you because you are so smart…..) tend to develop a fixed mindset and will not make an effort that will make her look ‘not smart’.
A child that is being praised for the process – meaning, the hard work she puts in and the effort she makes to become better, will develop a growth mindset and will challenge herself to grow all the time.
Although the research is all about academic performance, I can see a direct relationship to parenting and life in general. The way I look at life is that it’s a continues journey of leaning and growing. This is the reason we are here – to learn all the time, and become better human beings and at the same time become professional at our vocation. As a mom, I am telling my kids all the time how smart they are, and according to Dr. Dweck research, I am doing then a disservice. I do not help them develop a growth mindset. The fact that a child is smart and have better abilities than others, does not mean she needs to work less hard. By praising a child for hard work, for trying hard, for making mistakes and learning from them, by making an effort to do the best, we encourage him to become a more confidence person in his ability to learn and grow.
Personally, I know that this has been one of my biggest challenge as a growing child, I was always told that I was smart and I can do it, and thus I got so stressed before tests, that is came to physical pains. I was afraid to let down, to not look as smart and others thought I was. Today, as I am learning more and more, and enjoying every minute of it,I stop to thank myself for all the learning I have done, and all the growth I have made. Stephan Covey said: The more you learn, the more you realized how ignorant you are. The more we learn, the more we realized how much more there is to uncover and to learn. I love this message, it makes ignorance to be a positive thing that keeps you on your toes, and pushes you to learn more.
Praise yourself and your children for the effort they are putting in, and with a lot of love they will become a great curious human being and a great students.
When I came back home today, my boys brought a note from school that she will be speaking at the local high school…. I am always amazed to see how I think about something I want to learn about and the universe is helping me in achieving them!
I also went to read the article about Dweck work ” How Not to talk to your kids, The inverse power of praise, written by Po Bronson , Published Feb 12, 2007 http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
Here are some highlights from the article :
“a new study from the trenches of the New York public-school system—strongly suggests it might be the other way around. Giving kids the label of “smart” does not prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it”…
…”Dweck’s research on overpraised kids strongly suggests that image maintenance becomes their primary concern—they are more competitive and more interested in tearing others down. A raft of very alarming studies illustrate this. “
I am still learning this article and her work, and would share with you more after hearing her lecture.
http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
To our children, Relli
Relli
I just read a fascinating study that proves giving makes you rich. The article states, “More giving doesn’t just correlate with higher income; it causes higher income.” (Italics mine.) See the article at www.portfolio.com/views/columns/2007/10/15/Charity-Makes-Wealth After that, go read my book, The Greatest Money-Making Secret in History. And then give some money away.
I love listening to Wayne Dyer. I love his voice and his message, it is always makes me feel so much better. As I was searching on Youtube for his materials, I stumble accross one of his shows. Dr. Dyer talked about how we think at some points in life that we got No Where, but if you take the same letters it is actually can be changed to – Now here. This is a great way to change our thinking. Sometime I ask myslef ” what is the point of your work? what is the goal for yourself? ” Sometimes, I feel that the more I learn and think I got it,I am actually loosing it. I feel like I am getting no where but just circling around and around my thoughts. But, putting it in a NOW HERE make so much sense. I am not suppose to get anywhere, I am now here, this is exactly where I should be, this is exactly what I should be doing, this is it.
It is great to have this tool, to be able to move from confusion to clarity just by changing the words 🙂
Here I am , in San Diego, visiting friends, and I know I am Now Here.
It’s always amazing to learn the stories behind people, this time behind Rocky.
Get inspired and take actions, knowing that you can achieve what you want!