In the last few days I have been resisting taking action towards putting videos together. I know I am resisting change, I can feel how I am holding back to my passion for art, afraid that if I take it on I will have to give up other things. As I am writing it,I know that the opposite will actually happen. If I dive into my art, share my love for it, teach people about it, my life would be filled with joy of giving and receiving. But still, I am holding back. Today, I had planned to complete the materials I need to have for my first videos, and I stopped. I could not pin point why, but I didn’t do it. I tried to find all kind of reasons why it is not a good time “I am tired”, I have to cook dinner, I won’t finish is today anyway, bla bla bla. I know I am making up excuses, pretty amazing that I can acknowledge it and still do it! Haha

Eventually, I decided to let go. I did not complete my list, neither my cooking 😉 , I just took my book and set down to read.

And, it was what I needed to do. Let go of controlling the day. It was what I needed to do – I got the answers why I am doing it from reading the book. I got to see, through Barbara’s Book, that she has done the same!

“a ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are for”John A Shedd

I found this quote to catch my attention –  I am the ship, and I am stuck in the harbor! I am not supposed to stay there for ever, I am supposed to sail away to the open sea, let go of controlling and just drift with the waves.

I find it to be very challenging to take  huge leaps, to take huge steps. I am pretty good at taking big leaps when I am practicing (seminars, camps, in my community), but when it comes to my own destiny, I am holding back. Interesting.

As long as I am playing a game which is not really about me, I am leaping big time, but I stop when it comes to me, my life, my business, my relationships. I will do some work on it in the next few days, and will get to the bottom of it.

As for the next few days, I will take small leaps. I will take the key to the room where I can shoot videos, I will collect the materials to create few short videos, and just trust that things will fall into place.
“Show me the way, show me what I need to see to move forward”

Love, Relli

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